A Slice of Americana

Every year, my kids look forward to the 4th of July parade in Blowing Rock, North Carolina, and this year was no exception. The town held the parade a day early, and as I was listening to the live bands in the park and looking at all of the happy families dressed in red, white and blue picnicking on the lawn, I thought that this is a bit of Americana that few people get to experience in the 21st century. It is like a Norman Rockwell painting come to life.

The parade features floats from local businesses, politicians and groups, dancing groups clogging their way down Main Street, fire trucks, tricked out equestrians, and a Shriner's band playing Souza tunes. There are clowns, old cars from the 1940's and '50's, dogs dressed up in patriotic ribbons, and a stiltwalker. This year, two of my daughters, Miriam and Leah, were also in the parade, tossing candy to the children along the street.

Blowing Rock is a small town nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains, populated by earnest, polite and hardworking mountain people. In many ways, it is a throwback to simpler times, when people would greet you in the street even if they didn't know you. Older kids can wander through the park, to the ice cream store and on to the public pool without supervision or fear. Children address adults as "sir" or "ma'am".

I sort of grew up with Blowing Rock, having visited it just about every year since I was around 8 or 9 years old. My parents have owned a home here for 30 years. When I was a kid, it was even more quaint and less commercial, with a real 1950's style soda shop named Storie's. But the main parts have remained the same, and I am grateful that my children get to experience it.

Blowing Rock is a welcome respite from the unrestrained materialism prevalent in Boca Raton. Our annual summer trip serves as a reinforcement of the values we try to instill at home: kindness, hard work, respect, sharing and good manners. Just because we live in modern times doesn't mean that we have to give up on those positive values that helped form this country. Perhaps if we all tried to tap into that old time Americana, we could pull ourselves out of our overconsumption of media and connect with each other in more meaningful ways.

The Princess and the Pea

My daughter Mia is the original princess. I mean that in the literal sense, in that she was the first daughter born, and also that she is the epitome of princessness for me. She is a beautiful girl, with big green eyes fringed with abundant eyelashes, full pouty lips, and luxuriant honey-colored curls.

Whereas my son was all boy, Mia was always all girly, with frills, and pink and princess stuff galore. Every time I was pregnant, my son Danny hoped for a brother, but alas! was always disappointed. Nevertheless, he had a rich fantasy life, so he decided that he would make his sisters into the brothers he never had by dressing them up in his clothes. He would dress them in his boxers, shorts, undershirts and t-shirts, with baseball hats on their heads and give them boy names like Tom or Charley. Mia always refused to participate in these games. Even in make-believe, she would never even consider playing a boy.

Beginning when she a toddler, and continuing to this day, Mia has always been sensitive, both physically and emotionally. On a physical level, she is bothered by the way things feel on her skin. She doesn’t like the feel of lace, even stretch lace, or anything with an appliqué, or fabric paint. She is bothered by the seams sewn inside socks and other clothing, which means that she refuses to wear anything with panels or embellishment. She only likes soft, jersey type material, and skirts, shorts and pants have to hit her in a certain spot for her to be able to tolerate them.

All of which makes shopping with her akin to getting a root canal. One August, her Grammy took her shopping for school clothes. Although she goes to public school, they have a dress code and have to wear logo shirts with a khaki or navy bottom. Grammy took her to the mall, and for some reason, Mia refused to even try anything on. Not to be deterred, Grammy bought her about half a dozen khaki and navy skirts, shorts and pants in her size and figured she would try them on at home. Mia rejected all of them. I took them back and exchanged them for another full round of bottoms. Most of those went back as well. I think we ended up keeping two items, one of which she has steadfastly refused to ever wear for some undisclosed reason.

Mia is also very sensitive on an emotional level. She gets her feelings hurt easily, especially by her brother, whom she adores. On the plus side, it makes her extremely empathetic. If someone is hurt or sick, Mia will be the one getting him tea or rubbing her head. It makes her both a great babysitter and a terrible one. Great when the little one is behaving and not so great when there is a problem, because she is too softhearted to enforce any kind of discipline.

When she was little, I worried that she was too soft and too vulnerable to future hurts, so I made sure that I read books and made up stories (I was constantly making up original stories for my children) in which the princess characters were courageous and clever. Some of them were warriors and once in a while ended up saving the prince or even the entire kingdom. Even when I read traditional stories like Cinderella or Snow White, I would add little asides that went something like this, “You know, this is just a fairy tale. In real life, girls and ladies don’t just sit around waiting to be rescued by a guy.”

Now, at nine, she has toughened up somewhat. I was actually surprised last year when I enrolled her in soccer and she was the best, most competitive player on the team. She gets upset less often when Danny is nasty to her. But no matter how strong and independent my Mia grows, she will always be my number one princess.

When to Give In to Your Kids

Have you ever kept track of how many times a day you say "no" to your kids? With five kids (yes, you read that right), my daily no tally routinely climbs into triple digits. No, you can't have a second dessert, no you can't stay up a little longer, no, you can't tell your sister you hate her, no you can't do a back flip off the couch...You get the idea. But once in a while, it is a good idea to say yes to your kids even if it is something out of the ordinary. In addition to surprising and delighting your kids, it will keep them guessing.

My kids have me pegged as practical, responsible, and busy, in short, as a Mom. But every so often, I let them do something totally crazy, like taking a shower outside with the hose or riding an old bicycle into the pool. Now they have tons of fun (I get a quintuple whammy because what is fun for one kid can also be a great spectator sport for the other four) and they don't know what to think of the unexpected maternal blessing to the activity. It's like pulling the lever on a slot machine a bunch of times and then bam! jackpot! These are the things that make indelible memories and can help define a childhood. So give yourself (and your kids) permission to throw caution to the winds (as long as you're not throwing away all vestige of common sense) once in a while and live a little!