Good Morning, Sunshine!

Let me preface this post by saying that I am not a morning person by nature. People who are full of energy and perkiness first thing in the morning annoy me. In the dim recesses of memory from BK (before kids), I remember sleeping in until noon on a Sunday, and reading the New York Times in bed with my coffee and bagel until I felt like getting up. It all seems like a lovely dream now...

However, for the last 10 years or so, I have had to get up early to get my kids to school. Now, my body, like an old trail horse that’s done the same thing a million times, gets up no later than 6:30 AM, regardless of whether it is a school day or a weekend or a holiday or summer vacation. My children, though, have not had the same conditioning and mornings can require practically superhuman patience, energy and creativity to get them up and out on time.

My waking-kids-up-for-school strategy has morphed over time. With Danny, my oldest, I had admittedly unrealistic expectations. I thought that since he knew he had to be at preschool at a certain time and it was half an hour drive, he would naturally make sure to get up when he was supposed to. Ha! From the time he could talk, my husband and I called Danny The Negotiator. He milked the morning time for all it was worth, trading cuddle time, original improptu fictional stories, and promises of future treats for his cooperation. Once he had sealed the deal, he got up, no problem.

My next child, Mia, was a whole different story. A thermonuclear device could go off next to her head and she would snore, roll over and continue sleeping. When she was little, she would not wake up, no matter what I did. Frustrated, I would pick out her outfit and get her completely dressed while she remained blissfully, sound asleep. Then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, once I had her dressed, with socks and shoes and everything, she would wake up just enough to tear off everything that I had just put on her because she didn’t want to wear that today. I yelled a lot in those days, but it was with great restraint that I refrained from introducing my angelic toddler to some of the more colorful phrases in the English language.

Miriam, number three, followed in her brother’s footsteps. Although she usually had no trouble waking up, she used the situation to get maximum cuddle time. However, on those mornings after late night marathon gigglefests with Mia, with whom she shares a room, Miriam’s whines and screaming have been known to shatter glass and shake paintings off the walls several houses over. Once you have experienced this you will go to great lengths to ensure that you never have to endure a repeat performance.

That is when I became a stand up comedian. No, I have never performed my comedy act for any bigger audience than my two oldest daughters. But each morning, my show consists of improv comedy including making up songs with silly lyrics, joking, tickling, sarcasm, and various animal noises (don’t ask). Each girl has been at various times a princess (Mia is always Sleeping Beauty for obvious reasons), a kitten, a superhero, a dog, a meerkat, or a bear (Mia again because she hibernates. “It’s spring, little bear!” I shout at her and sometimes she wakes up enough to smile.). I walk my fingers all over Miriam as she is sleeping and they become the character of Little Man, whom she will usually wake up to interact with. When she doesn’t wake up right away, Little Man gets peeved and uses his little foot to kick her in the nose.

Mia still will sleep until she only has ten minutes left before she has to leave, but so far, they have made the bus every time this school year except once (in the interest of full disclosure, I have had to drive them to the bus stop several times to make sure they didn’t miss it).

Sometimes my morning routine stretches my powers of creativity and sometimes it stretches the limits of my patience, but overall, I find that it is much better to start the day with love and silliness than with frustration and yelling. In fact, most days, I actually look forward to getting up and doing my thing. So, good morning, my little rays of sunshine! You are as good a reason as any to get up in the morning.